blended family estate planning

December 4 2025

What Matters Most | Using Go Wish Cards to Clarify Your End-of-Life Wishes

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What Matters Most Using Go Wish Cards to Clarify Your End-of-Life Wishes

Most people avoid talking about what they want at the end of life, not because they do not care, but because they do not know how to begin. The Go Wish card deck provides a simple, humane way to open this conversation. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron walk through these cards and explore the deep, personal priorities they reveal from relief from pain to being surrounded by loved ones, to maintaining dignity even in decline.

Rather than centering on fear or loss, the Go Wish tool encourages families to talk about values, preferences, and what truly matters. It turns a silent, stressful topic into a thoughtful, honest exchange. This episode shows how end-of-life planning can be an act of love, easing the burden on caregivers and bringing peace to the person facing the end of life.

Why End-of-Life Wishes Matter More Than We Realize

End-of-life decisions can become chaotic when no one knows what the person truly wants. Families argue, siblings disagree, partners make assumptions, and healthcare providers are forced to guess. The emotional cost is enormous.

Marguerite explains that end-of-life wishes are not simply medical decisions they reflect identity, values, and the person’s sense of dignity. Whether someone prioritizes spiritual connection, being at home, minimizing pain, or reconciling with family, these preferences are deeply human and deserve to be expressed clearly.

Ron shares stories from real cases where clarity prevented trauma. In some families, loved ones found great comfort knowing exactly what the person wanted. In others, the absence of guidance created guilt and lasting conflict.

This section grounds the conversation in compassion: we plan not to prevent death, but to reduce suffering for both the person and the people who love them.

How the Go Wish Cards Work and Why They Help

The Go Wish deck contains cards representing common end-of-life priorities such as:

Relief from pain
Maintaining dignity
Being with family
Having music or comfort
Resolving unfinished business
Feeling spiritually at peace
Having caregivers who understand your wishes

The brilliance of the tool is its simplicity. Instead of asking someone open-ended questions about dying, which can feel overwhelming or uncomfortable, the cards give concrete choices that prompt reflection.

Marguerite notes how couples, siblings, and even adult children and parents use the cards to discover wishes they never knew each other had. Ron points out that the deck often opens the door to emotional honesty — something many families struggle to access without prompting.

This approach keeps conversations grounded, safe, and manageable, creating a shared language for decisions that may one day be urgent.

Hard Conversations Made Easier: Examples from Real Life

Marguerite recalls clients who wished they had known what their parents wanted before a crisis occurred. Families often say, “I hope I did the right thing,” long after decisions are made. The burden of guessing can be heartbreaking.

Ron shares stories of people who prioritized humor at the end of life, or who wanted classical music playing, or who desperately wanted to avoid prolonged medical intervention. These simple insights transformed how families showed love and support.

The hosts emphasize that the cards help uncover desires that go beyond medical directives. They reveal emotional, relational, and spiritual needs. By exploring these proactively, families build trust rather than tension, and difficult moments become more peaceful and grounded in the person’s true wishes.

Why “Family Harmony” Requires Clarity, Not Guesswork

One of the most important insights from this episode is that end-of-life planning protects family relationships. When people have different interpretations of what “Mom would have wanted,” tension rises quickly.

Healthcare agents need clear guidance to make decisions with confidence. Adult children need reassurance that they are honoring their parent’s wishes. Spouses need direction so they are not left carrying the emotional burden alone.

Marguerite reiterates that clarity is the greatest gift we can give our families. Ron adds that these conversations create opportunities for healing especially in families with past estrangements or unresolved conflict.

End-of-life planning is one of the most profound and loving acts we can perform. It provides clarity, prevents conflict, and helps families navigate an emotionally charged period with confidence and compassion. The Go Wish cards offer a simple, accessible tool to articulate what truly matters when choices become difficult.

Whether you are supporting aging parents, preparing for your own future, or helping a spouse understand your wishes, now is the time to have these conversations. They build trust, reduce fear, and ensure that care aligns with your values.

In essence, the Go Wish deck becomes a tool for emotional reconciliation as much as practical planning.

👉 Become a PlanFan today and get access to our First Steps Toolkit, member-only support, and reminders to keep your plan current. Join our community and take control of your legacy with confidence.

November 26 2025

Do Not Ignore Your Mortality | A Conversation with Author Greg Barnsdale

Do Not Ignore Your Mortality A Conversation with Author Greg Barnsdale

Most people avoid talking about mortality. They push off decisions, delay paperwork, and tell themselves they will “get to it later.” In this emotional and practical episode of Plan for This, Marguerite sits down with Greg Barnsdale, author of Do Not Ignore Your Mortality, to explore why early planning matters, not only for ourselves, but for the people we love.

Greg shares how his mission to help others prepare for life’s inevitable transitions became deeply personal after a sudden brain tumor diagnosis. His insights reveal how quickly life can shift, how unprepared many families are for crisis, and how much peace of mind comes from getting affairs in order now rather than later.

Whether you are building your first estate plan, revising an old one, or navigating blended family dynamics, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and actionable steps to secure your legacy.

Why Most People Avoid Talking About Mortality

Many people know they should prepare for the future, however they struggle to face their own mortality. Greg and Marguerite discuss how fear, guilt, superstition, and avoidance shape people’s decisions. Some worry that talking about death will “invite” it, others simply feel overwhelmed by paperwork, legal terms, or family dynamics.

Greg explains that the real barrier is usually emotional, not technical. Planning forces us to acknowledge that life is uncertain, that relationships are fragile, and that our time is limited. This emotional resistance is normal, however it becomes dangerous when it prevents us from organizing documents, clarifying wishes, or choosing the right people to step in when needed.

By naming these fears, Greg helps listeners understand that avoidance does not protect anyone, it simply transfers the burden to loved ones later. The first act of planning is giving yourself permission to be honest about what you want your legacy to look like.

The Moment Everything Shifted: Greg’s Brain Tumor Diagnosis

Shortly after publishing Do Not Ignore Your Mortality, Greg received life-changing news. Doctors discovered a large brain tumor that required immediate treatment. The diagnosis was unexpected, shocking, and deeply humbling, yet it also affirmed his core message: life does not wait until we are ready.

Greg shares how this moment clarified his priorities. Planning ahead was no longer a philosophical exercise, it was survival. Because he had already organized his documents, outlined his wishes, and assigned roles to the right people, he could focus entirely on treatment and healing.

Marguerite notes that sudden medical events often expose the gaps in planning. Families scramble for passwords, insurance information, beneficiary designations, and essential documents. They argue, panic, or freeze. Greg’s story demonstrates the opposite, when your house is in order, crisis does not become chaos.

This portion of the conversation is vulnerable and honest, encouraging listeners to act now rather than wait for a scare.

Blended Families and the Complexity of Modern Estate Plans

Estate planning becomes more complex when dealing with blended families, second marriages, or adult children from previous relationships. Greg and Marguerite highlight common issues such as:

Competing expectations between biological and step-family members
Choosing successor trustees who can remain neutral
Balancing new relationships with long established obligations
Ensuring clear communication so no one feels blindsided

They emphasize that blended families must be even more intentional than traditional families. Without clarity, conflict is almost guaranteed later. Greg explains that planning conversations should center on values, fairness, and respect rather than assumptions or outdated ideas of inheritance.

Marguerite adds that successor trustees should be chosen based on temperament, integrity, and availability, not tradition or birth order. The goal is not to honor someone’s feelings in the moment, but to choose the person who can handle the responsibility years from now without bias.

The Modern Must-Haves: Digital Access, Passwords, and Paperwork

In today’s world, estate planning goes beyond wills and trusts. Greg and Marguerite discuss the modern essentials every family needs, such as:

Password lists
Digital access instructions
Online account management
Healthcare directives
Updated beneficiaries
Lists of subscriptions and autopay services
Location of important documents

Greg stresses that most families fall apart during crisis not because they lack love, but because they lack information. When documents are incomplete or scattered, families lose days, weeks, or even months trying to gather what they need.

The goal is simple: make your plan easy to find, easy to understand, and easy to follow. This reduces stress, confusion, and conflict when loved ones are already overwhelmed.

Facing mortality can be uncomfortable, however it becomes much easier when we understand it as a gift to those we love. Greg Barnsdale’s story reminds us that life can change in an instant, yet preparing ahead of time protects our families from stress and conflict.

Whether you are navigating a blended family, handling digital assets, or choosing a successor trustee, the best time to begin your plan is before a crisis — not after.

If you want guidance, community, and tools that help you stay organized, consider becoming a PlanFan today.

October 15 2025

Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson: Estate Planning Lessons for Blended Families | Plan for This Ep 7

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Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson Estate Planning Lessons for Blended Families

Behind every great love story lies the complexity of family—and for Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, that includes a blended family with four children, charitable causes, and decades of success. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron explore how estate planning applies not only to celebrities, but to anyone balancing love, legacy, and responsibility.

From co-trusteeships to charitable giving, their discussion offers real insight into how to plan for harmony instead of conflict. Using the Hanks-Wilson family as a teaching moment, they unpack the emotional side of planning, the part that’s often harder than the legal documents themselves.

Whether you’re a parent, trustee, or family decision-maker, this conversation helps you protect what matters most: your relationships.

Why Choosing the Wrong Trustee Can Divide Families

The Hidden Challenge of Blended Families

Blended families are now one of the most common family structures in America, and one of the most complicated when it comes to estate planning. With Tom Hanks having children from a prior marriage and two with Rita Wilson, their situation mirrors that of millions of families trying to balance fairness, emotion, and financial structure.

Marguerite explains that the first step in blended family planning is clarity, knowing what assets belong to whom, and what each spouse truly wants to leave behind. Without documentation, assumptions and emotional decisions often lead to family division.

Ron adds humor and warmth, reflecting on his childhood memories growing up near Rita Wilson and how family love can sometimes clash with practical realities. Together, they highlight how estate planning builds bridges between “his, hers, and ours,” ensuring every voice, and every child, is respected.

Two steering wheels in one car, illustrating confusion

Why Co-Trusteeships Can Go Wrong

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is the danger of naming co-trustees. Marguerite compares co-trusteeship to putting two steering wheels on the same car, both parties have control, but that doesn’t mean they’ll turn in the same direction.

In California, each co-trustee is 100% liable for everything that happens in the trust, whether they were involved or not. That means even good intentions can create tension, mistrust, or legal exposure.

Ron shares a personal story of siblings who served as co-trustees after one suffered a medical emergency. When communication broke down, so did their relationship. The takeaway: estate planning is about peace, not punishment. A single, neutral trustee, or a professional fiduciary, often keeps family relationships intact while ensuring the plan runs smoothly.

Family Culture, Religion & Personal Wishes

Every family brings its own traditions, values, and cultural expectations into the planning process. Marguerite encourages couples to talk openly about differences, whether religious, ethnic, or generational, so that decisions reflect both love and authenticity.

She shares a lighthearted story of a couple who disagreed on burial wishes: one wanted a traditional burial, the other wanted cremation but was too afraid to say so. These are the kinds of real, human details that can derail a plan if not discussed in advance.

Ron reflects on how cultural identity shapes legacy, from Greek and Jewish backgrounds to American family values. Their takeaway is universal: estate planning should honor who you are, not just what you own. Writing your values into your plan ensures future generations understand the why behind your wishes, not just the what.

Charity donation box with hands passing a heart

Legacy, Charity & Business Succession

Tom and Rita are known for generosity and community involvement, something many families aspire to emulate. Marguerite explains that charitable giving doesn’t always require vast wealth. Whether through a foundation, donor-advised fund, or simple bequest, legacy giving can reflect your values long after you’re gone.

They also touch on business succession, an often-overlooked part of estate planning. Many couples own small businesses or family ventures but fail to include a succession plan in their trust. Questions like “Should the business continue?” or “Who will run it?” are critical for ensuring continuity, or a clean closure.

The message: estate planning is your opportunity to define your impact. From protecting children to supporting causes, your plan can be your final love letter to both family and community.

The Plan for This team reminds listeners that estate planning is both personal and universal. Whether your life looks more like the Hanks-Wilson family or your own blended household, the challenges are the same: choosing trustworthy people, documenting your wishes, and talking through what matters most.

By addressing cultural nuances, charitable goals, and realistic expectations, you can transform estate planning from a chore into a legacy of clarity and care.

“Will vs. Trust” graphic with scales balancing documents

September 1 2025

Will vs. Trust: Why Outdated Estate Plans Put Families at Risk | Plan for This Ep 3

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Will vs. Trust Why Outdated Estate Plans Put Families at Risk

What happens when you think your estate plan is complete—only to realize years later that it no longer works? In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron discuss Douglas, a widower who believed his will and testamentary trust would protect his daughter. When his attorney, also named as successor trustee, unexpectedly passed away, Douglas was left with a plan that no longer fit his needs.

This real-world scenario highlights why a will alone is rarely enough, why trusts provide flexibility and privacy, and why reviewing and updating documents is essential. Whether you’re in a blended family, planning for children, or protecting lifelong investments, the lessons from Douglas’s story apply to every family.

The Testamentary Trust Trap

Douglas’s situation is not unusual. Many people create a will that includes a “testamentary trust”—a trust that only takes effect upon death. While this can work for basic planning, it has major limitations.

First, testamentary trusts do not avoid probate. When someone passes, the will becomes a public document filed with the court. That means family details and asset information are accessible to anyone. By contrast, a revocable living trust remains private.

Second, Douglas’s attorney was named as successor trustee, but when the attorney died, the plan lost its executor. Without updates, Douglas risked leaving his daughter with a complicated and potentially costly probate process.

Marguerite explains why wills alone are incomplete tools. They are one document in the estate planning “toolbox,” but a proper plan includes powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and a revocable living trust that allows for successor trustees and long-term flexibility.

Attorney reviewing trust documents with client

Why Estate Plans Need Regular Updates

Even the best estate plan can become outdated. Laws change, tax codes shift, and family circumstances evolve. As Marguerite points out, many people create a trust or will and then leave it untouched for decades—only to discover too late that it no longer reflects their wishes or complies with current law.

Douglas’s case is a reminder to revisit your estate plan every 3–5 years, or sooner after major life events such as marriage, divorce, death of a trustee, or acquisition of new assets. The cost of an attorney review is small compared to the massive expenses and family disputes that can arise during probate.

Regular updates ensure documents reflect your current family dynamics, keep successor trustee choices practical, and avoid leaving loved ones with unanswered questions during a crisis.

Blended Families, Prenups, and Life Estates

The episode also explores a listener’s question: how should blended families handle estate planning when spouses have children from prior marriages?

Marguerite and Ron explain that transparency and structure are key. Couples may keep finances separate but share a home. In this case, they might create:

Individual trusts for separate property
A joint trust for shared property (like a house)
Clear instructions about life estates, allowing one spouse to live in the home until death before it transfers to the other spouse’s children

Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements can also clarify expectations. Importantly, naming children as successor trustees often fuels conflict between step-siblings. Instead, appointing a neutral professional trustee can protect family harmony.

Blended families are common, and so are disputes. The best way to prevent tension is through clear planning, documented intentions, and periodic reviews.

Key Lessons for Every Family

The themes from Douglas’s story apply broadly:

Wills alone aren’t enough — They don’t avoid probate and can leave gaps.
Trusts add privacy and flexibility — Revocable living trusts allow for successor planning.
Update regularly — Laws and family circumstances change.
Blended families need clarity — Separate property trusts, life estates, and neutral trustees reduce conflict.
Think beyond documents — Estate planning is about family harmony, not just money.

Ultimately, the goal is peace of mind. Estate planning isn’t about predicting every future scenario; it’s about giving your loved ones clarity, security, and a roadmap when they need it most.

Douglas’s story is a powerful reminder that estate planning is not a “one and done” task. Without regular updates and the right tools, even the best-intentioned plans can fall short.

Marguerite and Ron encourage listeners to think of estate planning as ongoing life planning—something that evolves as families grow, change, and face new realities. From wills to trusts, prenups to life estates, every decision you make today shapes the legacy you leave tomorrow.