Podcast Episodes

February 6 2026

The $12 Million Maltese: What the Leona Helmsley Case Teaches Us About Pet Trusts and Legacy

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The $12 Million Maltese What the Leona Helmsley Case Teaches Us About Pet Trusts and Legacy

We’ve all heard the tabloid headlines: “The Queen of Mean Leaves Millions to Her Dog.” While it sounds like a plot from a movie, the estate of Leona Helmsley is one of the most significant cautionary tales in modern estate planning.

In our latest episode of Plan for This, Marguerite Lorenz and Ron Greenwald dig past the sensationalism to uncover the legal realities of what happens when your estate plan looks more like a “bomb” dropped behind you than a gift for those you leave behind.

Can You Really Leave Your Fortune to a Pet?

The short answer is: No, but you can fund their care.. Under the law, pets are considered “chattel” or items of ownership. They cannot sign checks, open bank accounts, or own property.

However, as Marguerite explains, modern law (including California’s specific pet trust statutes) allows you to create a Pet Trust. This legal tool ensures:

A Human Guardian is Appointed: Someone must be legally responsible for the animal’s daily needs.

Specific Funding: You can set aside funds for food, grooming, and security—just as Helmsley did for her dog, Trouble.

Oversight: A trustee ensures the guardian is actually using the money for the pet’s benefit

The Danger of “Control from the Grave”

The Helmsley case became a legal nightmare not because she loved her dog, but because she used her $4 billion estate to settle scores with her family. By disinheriting grandchildren and creating unusual conditions for others to receive their inheritance (like visiting a father’s grave once a year), she invited a massive legal challenge.

The court eventually ruled that Helmsley was mentally unfit when she executed her will, leading to a massive reduction in the dog’s trust fund and the redistribution of millions to the very family members she tried to cut out.

Three Lessons for Your Own Estate Plan

Capacity is Key: If you plan on making “unusual” requests or disinheriting family, don’t just tell your attorney—get a doctor’s letter. Proving mental competence at the time of signing is your best defense against future litigation.
Think About the “Remainder”: What happens to the money when your pet passes away?. A well-drafted plan designates a charity (like the Humane Society) to receive the remaining funds.
Be “Loving from the Grave”: Ask yourself: How do I want to be remembered?. A legacy of thoughtfulness and support is far more powerful than one of control and resentmen

Are You Ready to Plan for This?

Whether you have a pampered Maltese or a Macaw that might outlive you by 50 years, your plan needs to be clear, legal, and compassionate. Don’t leave your legacy to chance—or to the courts.

👉 Become a PlanFan today and get access to our First Steps Toolkit, member-only support, and reminders to keep your plan current. Join our community and take control of your legacy with confidence.

January 21 2026

Recovering with Dignity: How to Build a Care Team on Your Terms

Recovering with Dignity How to Build a Care Team on Your Terms

When life throws a major health curveball—like the listener in our latest episode who suffered a shattered pelvis in a skiing accident—the first instinct is often to “just handle it.” But as Marguerite Lorenz and Ron Greenwald discuss, true independence during recovery comes from having the right team in place.

Why Your Estate Plan is Your First Line of Defense

It might seem counterintuitive to call a lawyer after a physical injury, but as Marguerite emphasizes, “your life has changed; your body has changed in a significant way.” A major health shift is a signal that your current documents may no longer reflect your needs for care, authority, or financial management. Your estate plan isn’t just about what happens later—it’s about how you are cared for now.

The “Logistics Officer” vs. The “Bedside Helper”

The most critical distinction for anyone facing a health crisis is the difference between a Care Manager and a Caregiver:

The Care Manager: A certified professional (often found through the Aging Life Care Association) who handles the logistics. They perform home safety assessments, coordinate with doctors, and supervise the people coming in and out of your house.

The Caregiver: The person providing direct physical assistance with bathing, cooking, laundry, and daily chores.

By hiring an independent care manager, you gain an advocate who can swap caregiving agencies if the “fit” isn’t right, ensuring you aren’t stuck with someone who doesn’t match your personality or needs.

The “4-Hour Test” for Independence

If you are hesitant to let a stranger into your home, try the “Test Drive” approach. Hire a caregiver for just four hours to assist with one specific task, like a grocery run. Let them drive and push the cart while you direct exactly what to buy.

This simple exercise proves that you can accept help while remaining the CEO of your life. It’s about ensuring your life continues on your terms, even when you are on the mend.

Are You Ready to Plan for This?

Don’t wait for a crisis to find your team. Visit CareManager.org to find resources and join our PlanFan community for more expert guidance.

December 17 2025

Tony Hsieh’s Estate | What Happens When You Die Without a Will? | Plan for This Ep. 14

Tony Hsieh’s Estate What Happens When You Die Without a Will

Tony Hsieh, the visionary founder of Zappos, was known for creativity, generosity, and unconventional thinking. But when he died without a will or trust, his estate became a cautionary tale of what happens when legacy planning is left undone. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron explore how even extraordinary success cannot protect a family from probate court when legal documents are missing.

Tony’s parents were left navigating years of court proceedings, public filings, disputed assets, and unanswered questions about ownership and intent. From handwritten notes to real estate purchased for friends, the absence of formal planning created confusion that no amount of goodwill could resolve.

This case study highlights why estate planning matters for everyone, especially entrepreneurs, creators, and individuals with digital assets and intellectual property.

What Happens When You Die Without a Will

Dying without a will, known as dying intestate, triggers a court-controlled process that decides who receives assets and who has authority. Marguerite explains that probate court follows statutory rules, not personal wishes, no matter how clear those wishes may have seemed in conversation.

In Tony Hsieh’s case, the lack of a will meant his estate became public record. Court filings exposed asset values, property holdings, debts, and disputes, creating prolonged stress for his parents. Probate is slow, expensive, and emotionally draining, especially when the estate is large or complex.

Ron emphasizes that probate also strips families of privacy. Anyone can access filings, and media attention can amplify the pain. This is why trusts exist, to move assets privately and efficiently without court intervention.

Why Informal Records Don’t Work

Tony reportedly left behind handwritten notes, sticky reminders, and verbal assurances to friends. While meaningful emotionally, these forms of communication rarely carry legal weight.

Marguerite explains that courts require clarity, structure, and enforceable documents. Informal records create ambiguity, opening the door to disputes and litigation. In probate, intention must be proven, not assumed.

This is especially problematic when assets include real estate, investments, or business interests. Without formal documentation, families are forced to interpret intent under legal scrutiny, often leading to conflict and prolonged court involvement.

Digital Passwords and Modern Estate Planning

One of the most overlooked aspects of estate planning is digital access. Tony’s case highlights how passwords, online accounts, and digital assets can become locked forever without proper planning.

Ron and Marguerite discuss the importance of password managers, digital inventories, and clear access instructions. From banking apps to cryptocurrency wallets to intellectual property accounts, digital assets now represent real value.

Without access, families may lose money, data, or creative work permanently. Estate plans must evolve to include digital realities, not just physical assets.

Intellectual Property and Entrepreneur Estates

Tony Hsieh’s legacy included more than money. His ideas, brand associations, and intellectual contributions carried ongoing value. Marguerite explains that intellectual property must be addressed explicitly in estate plans.

Creators, founders, and entrepreneurs often forget that copyrights, trademarks, and licensing rights survive death. Without instructions, IP can be mismanaged, undervalued, or lost entirely.

This section underscores why estate planning is not just about “stuff,” but about preserving the work, ideas, and impact a person leaves behind.

Tony Hsieh’s estate reminds us that success, intelligence, and good intentions cannot replace formal planning. Without a will or trust, families are left navigating courts, public scrutiny, and unresolved questions during moments of grief.

Estate planning protects privacy, preserves relationships, and ensures your legacy reflects your values rather than statutory defaults. Whether you are an entrepreneur, creator, or simply someone who cares about the people you love, planning ahead is an act of responsibility.

December 10 2025

When Your Estate Plan Is 25 Years Outdated | Lessons from Lila & Jerry’s Case | Plan for This Ep. 13

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When Your Estate Plan Is 25 Years Outdated Lessons from Lila & Jerry’s Case

Estate planning is not something you complete once and never revisit. Life evolves, families change, laws shift, property ownership moves, and health concerns become more complex with age. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron review the case of Lila and Jerry, a couple in their seventies whose estate plan has not been updated in more than 25 years.

What begins as a simple document review reveals a familiar pattern: outdated legal language, unclear incapacity rules, amendments stacked on top of one another, and a successor trustee structure that no longer fits the reality of their lives. Marguerite guides listeners through the practical steps of updating a plan, while Ron reflects on the emotional dynamics that cause many spouses to avoid revisiting documents that feel “too complicated” or “fine the way they are.”

This blog breaks down key insights from their discussion and why updating an old plan may be the most important decision an aging couple can make.

Why 20+ Year Old Estate Plans Become Dangerous

Most estate plans are built around the circumstances and laws that existed at the time they were drafted. Twenty-five years ago, blended families were structured differently, healthcare directives were less detailed, digital assets were almost nonexistent, and incapacity planning was far less sophisticated.

Marguerite points out that outdated documents can:

Name trustees who have since died or become incapable
Reference financial institutions that no longer exist
Omit digital account access entirely
Rely on obsolete legal definitions
Fail to address modern incapacity standards
Cause conflict between adult children and surviving spouses

Ron adds that the biggest misconception is believing a trust “works forever.” In reality, a trust is a living legal structure that must evolve with the people it protects. When it remains static, the plan can collapse at the exact moment a family needs it.

Amendments vs. Restatements: Which Does Your Plan Need

One of the most common issues Lila and Jerry face is having multiple amendments layered over an aging trust. Marguerite explains the difference clearly:

An amendment updates specific sections but keeps the original trust intact.
A restatement replaces the entire body of the trust while keeping its name and date for asset-titled continuity.

Most estate planners recommend a restatement when:

The trust is more than 10–15 years old
Numerous amendments create confusion
Life circumstances have changed dramatically
Incapacity or distribution rules are unclear
The attorney wants to avoid contradictions or outdated clauses

Ron highlights that restatements are not “starting over,” but rather preserving the structure while modernizing the content.

Incapacity Provisions: The Hidden Risk Most Couples Ignore

One of the most crucial parts of an estate plan is the definition of incapacity and who can declare it. Lila and Jerry’s documents contain vague language common in trusts drafted before the 2000s.

Marguerite explains that incapacity rules should answer:

Who decides someone is incapacitated
What medical or cognitive standards apply
Whether one doctor, two doctors, or family input is required
How authority transfers to the successor trustee
How capacity can be restored

Without clear incapacity triggers, banks may refuse to honor trustee changes, adult children may dispute decisions, and spouses may unintentionally lose access to necessary accounts.

Ron shares real-world examples where families were trapped in bureaucratic limbo because an outdated plan left them unable to legally step in.

Successor Trustees: Why Your Original Choices May No Longer

In their original documents, Lila and Jerry named siblings and friends who are now either deceased, elderly, or no longer appropriate choices. This is extremely common.

Marguerite notes that successor trustees should be:

Younger or middle-aged (not peers)
Financially stable
Organized and capable
Neutral during family conflict
Able to manage extended responsibilities

If no appropriate family member exists, a professional fiduciary may be the right choice. Ron emphasizes that trustee selection is one of the most relationally sensitive decisions, and reviewing it regularly prevents significant hardship later.

Updating an estate plan is not just administrative work it is an act of protection. Lila and Jerry’s situation mirrors millions of aging couples who drafted their plan decades ago and never revisited it. But families change, laws change, health changes, and financial lives become more complex with time.

A trust that once served a family well can become a liability if it no longer reflects reality. Reviewing and updating these documents prevents conflict, ensures a smooth transition of responsibilities, and protects the spouse who remains healthy the longest.

December 4 2025

What Matters Most | Using Go Wish Cards to Clarify Your End-of-Life Wishes

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What Matters Most Using Go Wish Cards to Clarify Your End-of-Life Wishes

Most people avoid talking about what they want at the end of life, not because they do not care, but because they do not know how to begin. The Go Wish card deck provides a simple, humane way to open this conversation. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron walk through these cards and explore the deep, personal priorities they reveal from relief from pain to being surrounded by loved ones, to maintaining dignity even in decline.

Rather than centering on fear or loss, the Go Wish tool encourages families to talk about values, preferences, and what truly matters. It turns a silent, stressful topic into a thoughtful, honest exchange. This episode shows how end-of-life planning can be an act of love, easing the burden on caregivers and bringing peace to the person facing the end of life.

Why End-of-Life Wishes Matter More Than We Realize

End-of-life decisions can become chaotic when no one knows what the person truly wants. Families argue, siblings disagree, partners make assumptions, and healthcare providers are forced to guess. The emotional cost is enormous.

Marguerite explains that end-of-life wishes are not simply medical decisions they reflect identity, values, and the person’s sense of dignity. Whether someone prioritizes spiritual connection, being at home, minimizing pain, or reconciling with family, these preferences are deeply human and deserve to be expressed clearly.

Ron shares stories from real cases where clarity prevented trauma. In some families, loved ones found great comfort knowing exactly what the person wanted. In others, the absence of guidance created guilt and lasting conflict.

This section grounds the conversation in compassion: we plan not to prevent death, but to reduce suffering for both the person and the people who love them.

How the Go Wish Cards Work and Why They Help

The Go Wish deck contains cards representing common end-of-life priorities such as:

Relief from pain
Maintaining dignity
Being with family
Having music or comfort
Resolving unfinished business
Feeling spiritually at peace
Having caregivers who understand your wishes

The brilliance of the tool is its simplicity. Instead of asking someone open-ended questions about dying, which can feel overwhelming or uncomfortable, the cards give concrete choices that prompt reflection.

Marguerite notes how couples, siblings, and even adult children and parents use the cards to discover wishes they never knew each other had. Ron points out that the deck often opens the door to emotional honesty — something many families struggle to access without prompting.

This approach keeps conversations grounded, safe, and manageable, creating a shared language for decisions that may one day be urgent.

Hard Conversations Made Easier: Examples from Real Life

Marguerite recalls clients who wished they had known what their parents wanted before a crisis occurred. Families often say, “I hope I did the right thing,” long after decisions are made. The burden of guessing can be heartbreaking.

Ron shares stories of people who prioritized humor at the end of life, or who wanted classical music playing, or who desperately wanted to avoid prolonged medical intervention. These simple insights transformed how families showed love and support.

The hosts emphasize that the cards help uncover desires that go beyond medical directives. They reveal emotional, relational, and spiritual needs. By exploring these proactively, families build trust rather than tension, and difficult moments become more peaceful and grounded in the person’s true wishes.

Why “Family Harmony” Requires Clarity, Not Guesswork

One of the most important insights from this episode is that end-of-life planning protects family relationships. When people have different interpretations of what “Mom would have wanted,” tension rises quickly.

Healthcare agents need clear guidance to make decisions with confidence. Adult children need reassurance that they are honoring their parent’s wishes. Spouses need direction so they are not left carrying the emotional burden alone.

Marguerite reiterates that clarity is the greatest gift we can give our families. Ron adds that these conversations create opportunities for healing especially in families with past estrangements or unresolved conflict.

End-of-life planning is one of the most profound and loving acts we can perform. It provides clarity, prevents conflict, and helps families navigate an emotionally charged period with confidence and compassion. The Go Wish cards offer a simple, accessible tool to articulate what truly matters when choices become difficult.

Whether you are supporting aging parents, preparing for your own future, or helping a spouse understand your wishes, now is the time to have these conversations. They build trust, reduce fear, and ensure that care aligns with your values.

In essence, the Go Wish deck becomes a tool for emotional reconciliation as much as practical planning.

November 26 2025

Do Not Ignore Your Mortality | A Conversation with Author Greg Barnsdale

Do Not Ignore Your Mortality A Conversation with Author Greg Barnsdale

Most people avoid talking about mortality. They push off decisions, delay paperwork, and tell themselves they will “get to it later.” In this emotional and practical episode of Plan for This, Marguerite sits down with Greg Barnsdale, author of Do Not Ignore Your Mortality, to explore why early planning matters, not only for ourselves, but for the people we love.

Greg shares how his mission to help others prepare for life’s inevitable transitions became deeply personal after a sudden brain tumor diagnosis. His insights reveal how quickly life can shift, how unprepared many families are for crisis, and how much peace of mind comes from getting affairs in order now rather than later.

Whether you are building your first estate plan, revising an old one, or navigating blended family dynamics, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and actionable steps to secure your legacy.

Why Most People Avoid Talking About Mortality

Many people know they should prepare for the future, however they struggle to face their own mortality. Greg and Marguerite discuss how fear, guilt, superstition, and avoidance shape people’s decisions. Some worry that talking about death will “invite” it, others simply feel overwhelmed by paperwork, legal terms, or family dynamics.

Greg explains that the real barrier is usually emotional, not technical. Planning forces us to acknowledge that life is uncertain, that relationships are fragile, and that our time is limited. This emotional resistance is normal, however it becomes dangerous when it prevents us from organizing documents, clarifying wishes, or choosing the right people to step in when needed.

By naming these fears, Greg helps listeners understand that avoidance does not protect anyone, it simply transfers the burden to loved ones later. The first act of planning is giving yourself permission to be honest about what you want your legacy to look like.

The Moment Everything Shifted: Greg’s Brain Tumor Diagnosis

Shortly after publishing Do Not Ignore Your Mortality, Greg received life-changing news. Doctors discovered a large brain tumor that required immediate treatment. The diagnosis was unexpected, shocking, and deeply humbling, yet it also affirmed his core message: life does not wait until we are ready.

Greg shares how this moment clarified his priorities. Planning ahead was no longer a philosophical exercise, it was survival. Because he had already organized his documents, outlined his wishes, and assigned roles to the right people, he could focus entirely on treatment and healing.

Marguerite notes that sudden medical events often expose the gaps in planning. Families scramble for passwords, insurance information, beneficiary designations, and essential documents. They argue, panic, or freeze. Greg’s story demonstrates the opposite, when your house is in order, crisis does not become chaos.

This portion of the conversation is vulnerable and honest, encouraging listeners to act now rather than wait for a scare.

Blended Families and the Complexity of Modern Estate Plans

Estate planning becomes more complex when dealing with blended families, second marriages, or adult children from previous relationships. Greg and Marguerite highlight common issues such as:

Competing expectations between biological and step-family members
Choosing successor trustees who can remain neutral
Balancing new relationships with long established obligations
Ensuring clear communication so no one feels blindsided

They emphasize that blended families must be even more intentional than traditional families. Without clarity, conflict is almost guaranteed later. Greg explains that planning conversations should center on values, fairness, and respect rather than assumptions or outdated ideas of inheritance.

Marguerite adds that successor trustees should be chosen based on temperament, integrity, and availability, not tradition or birth order. The goal is not to honor someone’s feelings in the moment, but to choose the person who can handle the responsibility years from now without bias.

The Modern Must-Haves: Digital Access, Passwords, and Paperwork

In today’s world, estate planning goes beyond wills and trusts. Greg and Marguerite discuss the modern essentials every family needs, such as:

Password lists
Digital access instructions
Online account management
Healthcare directives
Updated beneficiaries
Lists of subscriptions and autopay services
Location of important documents

Greg stresses that most families fall apart during crisis not because they lack love, but because they lack information. When documents are incomplete or scattered, families lose days, weeks, or even months trying to gather what they need.

The goal is simple: make your plan easy to find, easy to understand, and easy to follow. This reduces stress, confusion, and conflict when loved ones are already overwhelmed.

Facing mortality can be uncomfortable, however it becomes much easier when we understand it as a gift to those we love. Greg Barnsdale’s story reminds us that life can change in an instant, yet preparing ahead of time protects our families from stress and conflict.

Whether you are navigating a blended family, handling digital assets, or choosing a successor trustee, the best time to begin your plan is before a crisis — not after.

If you want guidance, community, and tools that help you stay organized, consider becoming a PlanFan today.

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November 19 2025

Dolores’s Story | Reverse Mortgage Risks, Faith, and Protecting Aging Parents | Plan for This Ep 12

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Dolores’s Story Reverse Mortgage Risks, Faith, and Protecting Aging Parents

Dolores is exactly the kind of person many of us love. She is 78, widowed, deeply rooted in her church community, and committed to giving her time and resources to others. Her son Gary has always respected that, even though he stepped away from organized religion years ago. Then a car accident on a stormy holiday weekend changed everything.

When Dolores moved into Gary’s home to recover, he began sorting through her paperwork and discovered something alarming. Her tithes had increased dramatically under the new pastor, she was falling behind on other bills, and, worst of all, she had taken out a reverse mortgage on her home at the pastor’s suggestion.

In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron use Dolores’s story to explore reverse mortgage risks, clergy influence, and how families can protect elders without taking away their independence.

When Generosity and Pressure Collide

Dolores’s situation did not start with a reverse mortgage, it started with generosity. She had attended the same church since childhood, volunteered at events, and found meaning in service. Over time, her giving grew, then grew again, until it quietly crossed the line from generous to unsustainable.

Marguerite points out that many elders in faith communities feel an internal pressure to “give just a little more,” especially when they are praised for their commitment. At the same time, they may feel shame about not having enough or embarrassment about asking whether the giving level actually fits their financial reality. This silence is a dangerous combination.

The real issue is not faith or charity, it is the lack of a neutral conversation partner. If Dolores had a CPA, financial advisor, or fiduciary she trusted, she could have asked a simple question: “Can I safely afford to give this much and still fund my own future” That single question, asked early, could have changed everything.

Understanding Reverse Mortgage Risks Before You Sign

Reverse mortgages are not inherently evil, however they are serious financial tools with long term consequences. In Dolores’s case, the pastor’s recommendation to take out a reverse mortgage moved things from risky to critical.

Marguerite explains that reverse mortgages:

Are designed for older homeowners, typically 62 and up
Turn home equity into cash, usually without monthly payments
Come with significant upfront costs and ongoing interest
Gradually erode the equity in the property over time

What many families do not realize is that the true reverse mortgage risks often appear later, when the homeowner can no longer live in the house. If Dolores remains with Gary or moves to assisted living, the loan will eventually come due. The home may then need to be sold quickly, or refinanced under pressure, just to satisfy the reverse mortgage lender.

This is why Marguerite urges anyone considering a reverse mortgage to bring in a CPA, tax professional, or estate planning attorney who is not part of the transaction. Their job is to read the contract, run the numbers, and answer one crucial question: “What does this really cost over time, and what does it do to my future options”

Where Faith Leaders Fit, and Where They Do Not

Faith communities often do beautiful work. Churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples support families through grief, illness, and loneliness. That part is healthy and necessary. The trouble comes when spiritual authority blends with financial direction in ways that bypass neutral advice.

In Dolores’s story, the pastor encouraged a reverse mortgage and was also listed as her emergency medical contact. That combination of influence and access raises serious questions. Marguerite stresses that spiritual leaders should not be the only voice in major financial decisions. Even with good intentions, they are not trained to evaluate complex loans, tax implications, or long term care expenses.

If you serve in a faith community, the takeaway is simple. Encourage your elders to seek independent advice. Suggest they talk to a CPA or attorney, rather than stepping into that role yourself. If you are an elder, treat spiritual guidance and financial guidance as two different lanes that should work together, not merge.

How Adult Children Can Step In Without Taking Over

Gary’s position is complicated. On one hand, he is worried, and rightly so. On the other, Dolores is still an adult with rights and preferences, and she may not want her son “managing” her.

Marguerite offers a practical strategy for adult children: first, get your own estate plan done. When you have navigated your own documents, you understand emotionally how vulnerable it can feel, and you gain credibility when you talk to your parents.

Instead of opening with “Mom, I need to see your accounts,” Gary can say, “I just finished my estate plan. Here is what I learned, here is how it protects my kids. Can we talk about yours” That shift respects Dolores’s autonomy and frames the conversation around shared responsibility rather than control.

If Dolores is willing, the next steps might include:

Reviewing her existing estate plan
Confirming who is named as trustee, health care agent, and power of attorney
Deciding whether Gary should step into any of those roles
Bringing in a neutral professional to review the reverse mortgage and her giving

The goal is not to make Gary the “boss,” it is to build a team around Dolores so she is not managing everything alone.

Dolores’s story is not about blaming a pastor or shaming a church. It is about recognizing how easily good intentions can lead to fragile outcomes when no neutral advisor is in the room. Reverse mortgages, large charitable gifts, and community fundraising all carry real-life consequences that ripple through families for years.

Marguerite and Ron invite listeners to see planning as an act of protection, not control. That means building a team, asking hard questions before signing anything, and making sure your giving and borrowing do not quietly undermine your own security.

If you want help thinking through reverse mortgage risks, elder protection, and what “doing the right thing” looks like in your own family, consider becoming a PlanFan. You will get access to tools, definitions, and prompts that help you talk with professionals and loved ones before a crisis hits.

November 12 2025

Lost in Paris & The Mortgage Crisis Question | Plan for This Ep 11

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Lost in Paris How Professional Trustees & Mortgage Planning Protect Families in Crisis

When life shifts in an instant, the people you think will take charge aren’t always the ones the law recognizes. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron walk through two powerful stories that highlight why estate planning must anticipate the unexpected.

The first story follows Bill, who rushes to Paris after his parents’ accident — only to discover a professional trustee has already stepped in. The second centers on a listener whose family inherited a house with a mortgage but no guidance, creating confusion and financial risk.

Both stories reveal a simple truth: planning ahead protects dignity, safety, and stability — long before crisis arrives.

Fiduciary Duty, Probate & Crisis Planning Explained

Bill’s Story: Lost in Paris and Losing Control

Bill arrives in Paris terrified, worried about his parents’ medical condition. What he doesn’t expect is the shock that greets him at the hospital: the staff will only speak with a professional trustee, not him.

Marguerite explains that this happens when families prepare proactively. A well-crafted estate plan assigns authority not through assumptions but through documented roles — including trustees, agents, and fiduciaries trained to handle crisis logistics, finances, and legal details.

Professional trustees bring neutrality. They follow instructions without emotional pressure, and when aging parents want to avoid burdening their children, this can be a compassionate solution.

Ron adds that while Bill felt hurt, his parents weren’t rejecting him — they were protecting him. Crisis planning allows love and structure to work together.

Capacity, Authority & Why Trustees Step In

When someone loses capacity — temporarily or permanently — financial and medical decision-making must follow a legal chain of authority. Without documents, families often end up in court.

Marguerite outlines the roles:

Trustee manages trust assets
Agent under Power of Attorney handles financial tasks
Agent under Healthcare Directive makes medical decisions

In Bill’s situation, his parents selected a professional so he wouldn’t face the pressure of cross-continental decisions.

Authority is not personal. It’s protective. Estate planning ensures clarity during chaos and prevents family conflict, misunderstandings, and emotional overload.

Listener Question: Inheriting a House with a Mortgage

The second half of the episode answers a listener’s urgent question: “I inherited a home with my siblings. It still has a mortgage. What now?”

Marguerite breaks the issue into three parts:

Probate timeline — the lender must be notified, and delays can risk default.
Mortgage type — conventional, reverse, or HELOC all have different rules.
Sibling coordination — the heirs must decide quickly whether to refinance, sell, buy out, or negotiate with the bank.

She explains why many families lose inherited homes — not because they can’t afford them, but because they wait too long to communicate with lenders.

Ron stresses that grief clouds decision-making. But planning, documentation, and transparency keep families from losing property through confusion rather than necessity.

Avoiding Foreclosure, Conflict & Confusion

Marguerite shares a simple roadmap for families facing an inherited mortgage:

Contact the lender immediately
Request a “successor in interest” acknowledgment
Review the mortgage type
Bring the property into a trust if possible
Decide quickly: sell, refinance, or transfer

Avoiding foreclosure requires speed and coordination. Families who hesitate lose equity and options.

Estate planning prevents this panic entirely by naming who inherits, who decides, and how the home is handled.

The stories of Bill and the listener reveal two sides of estate planning: emotional impact and practical urgency. Whether it’s navigating an overseas crisis or inheriting a home under pressure, clarity prevents chaos.

Marguerite and Ron encourage families to talk early, document roles, and revisit plans after life changes. Planning is not about control — it’s about protecting the people you love from impossible decisions.

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November 5 2025

Roland’s Story & The Family Conflict Question | Plan for This Ep 10

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Roland’s Story The Family Conflict Question

Family and finances rarely mix easily, and when emotions meet estate planning, the results can be explosive. In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron share two powerful stories that illustrate why early communication and professional support are essential.

First, they discuss Roland, a senior moving into assisted living while facing pushback from family members over selling his home. Then they address a listener’s heartfelt question about siblings clashing over their mother’s possessions after her passing.

Both stories highlight one truth: planning brings peace. With empathy and expertise, Marguerite shows how fiduciaries, tax awareness, and documentation keep love intact while preventing confusion, resentment, and costly mistakes.

When Family Emotions Meet Financial Reality

Roland, an elderly widower, had to move into assisted living after his health declined. His daughter-in-law, however, insisted on keeping his house “in the family.” The problem? Roland needed to sell it to fund his care.

Marguerite explains how fiduciaries, whether family or professional, must prioritize the elder’s needs above everyone else’s emotions. Fiduciary duty means acting in the client’s best interest, even when family members disagree.

The home sale also raised questions about capital gains tax and timing. Marguerite clarifies that while taxes can feel intimidating, they’re manageable with professional guidance and transparency. The greater risk isn’t financial, it’s relational.

Ron shares that many families struggle when “love meets logistics.” Avoiding conflict requires setting expectations early and understanding that selling a home or adjusting assets doesn’t mean letting go of memories, it means safeguarding security and dignity.

Fiduciary Duty: Clarity Over Emotion

When a fiduciary (often a family member) makes financial decisions, emotion is the hardest obstacle. Marguerite emphasizes that fiduciary duty is a legal obligation, not a favor. The fiduciary must act objectively and transparently, reporting decisions, keeping records, and avoiding personal bias.

In Roland’s case, confusion about who controlled the sale of the house created tension. A fiduciary could have helped by clarifying authority, explaining timelines, and providing written updates to family members.

Marguerite advises families to appoint neutral fiduciaries when emotions run high. Professionals can mediate between family interests and ensure compliance with state and federal rules. It’s not about taking control, it’s about maintaining fairness and preventing burnout for family members who mean well but may feel pressured.

Listener Story: Siblings Fighting Over Mom’s Things

A listener wrote in describing a common and painful issue: siblings arguing over their mother’s belongings after her passing. From furniture to family photos, every item became a trigger for old wounds and new resentment.

Marguerite and Ron remind listeners that personal property often causes more emotional damage than money. The solution starts long before death, with documentation. Listing out sentimental items in writing, adding names, or attaching photographs can eliminate confusion later.

If conflict arises after the fact, mediation or a professional fiduciary can help. Fiduciaries act as neutral third parties, ensuring every item is handled according to the trust or will, not personal bias.

Ron reflects that these disputes rarely stem from greed, they stem from grief. Planning ahead doesn’t just protect finances, it preserves family relationships.

The Emotional Side of Planning

Beyond the legal and financial aspects, estate planning is about emotion; fear, guilt, love, and responsibility. Families often wait until crisis strikes, when communication is strained and decisions feel impossible.

Marguerite and Ron urge listeners to talk before the pressure hits. Host family meetings. Explain why choices are being made. Document your wishes clearly.

By planning early, elders like Roland can make decisions confidently without burdening loved ones, and families can avoid tearing each other apart when a parent passes.

Estate planning is more than a legal task, it’s emotional protection for everyone involved.

Whether it’s Roland’s home or a mother’s silverware, family conflict around estate planning is universal. But the solution is, too: clear communication, professional guidance, and love grounded in structure.

Marguerite and Ron’s stories remind us that planning isn’t about control, it’s about compassion. The right plan gives your loved ones the roadmap they’ll need when emotions are high and decisions are hard.

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October 29 2025

Myra & Peter: A Cautionary Tale About Family, Trust, and Independence | Plan for This Ep 9

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Myra & Peter A Cautionary Tale About Family, Trust, and Independence

It started with kindness, and ended with a crisis. Myra, an 81-year-old widow, welcomed her nephew Peter into her home after he lost his job. She thought she was helping family. But months later, Myra found herself feeling trapped in her own house, emotionally drained, and uncertain how to ask him to leave.

In this episode of Plan for This, Marguerite and Ron explore the real-world dangers of blurred boundaries, dependency, and financial vulnerability among aging adults. Through empathy and practical advice, they reveal how early estate planning, professional fiduciaries, and clear communication can protect independence while maintaining family harmony.

When Help Becomes Harm

Family relationships can be complicated, especially when one side begins to rely too heavily on the other. Myra’s nephew, Peter, didn’t start out with bad intentions. But as his dependence grew, so did Myra’s stress, anxiety, and loss of control.

Marguerite explains that this pattern is one of the most common forms of unintentional elder abuse. It often begins with trust and love, then slowly evolves into manipulation or financial strain. Whether it’s a relative “borrowing” money, staying too long, or taking over decisions, boundaries erode quietly until it’s too late.

Estate planning helps prevent this long before it happens. Through powers of attorney, professional fiduciaries, and trusted advocates, elders can ensure that support systems are fair and accountable, while keeping relationships intact.

Ron reminds listeners that Myra’s story isn’t about blame, it’s about awareness. Protecting yourself is an act of love, not fear.

Recognizing the Red Flags of Elder Abuse

Elder abuse isn’t always physical, it’s often emotional or financial. Marguerite identifies subtle warning signs families should watch for:

A sudden shift in control over money or property
Social isolation or family members being “screened” from contact
Missing mail, unpaid bills, or unexplained account activity
Increased guilt, confusion, or fear in conversation

In Myra’s case, Peter began handling small errands and bills “to help out.” But over time, she realized her autonomy was slipping away. Without a legal structure or outside advisor, her situation could have escalated into serious exploitation.

The solution? Documentation and delegation. Assign roles formally through powers of attorney or fiduciary agreements, not verbal arrangements. That simple step can turn potential abuse into accountability.

Marguerite encourages everyone to have annual check-ins with professionals, just like a financial or medical review.

The Power of Planning and Professional Support

Ron and Marguerite stress that the best protection against financial or emotional exploitation is a plan backed by professionals. A fiduciary or care manager acts as a neutral third party, helping elders manage finances, oversee caregivers, and maintain independence without straining family relationships.

Marguerite shares examples of clients who regained confidence after assigning professional support: one woman hired a fiduciary to manage her trust and handle family inquiries, while another used a care manager to set home safety guidelines. Both experienced more peace of mind and better relationships with loved ones.

Ron calls this “the freedom that comes from structure.” Estate planning doesn’t mean giving up control, it means defining it.

By establishing clear roles, updating legal documents, and inviting professional oversight, families can stay connected without crossing boundaries.

Balancing Love, Trust, and Independence

Marguerite closes the episode with a powerful truth: you can love your family deeply and still protect yourself. Healthy relationships have boundaries, and planning ensures those boundaries remain strong.

In Myra’s story, boundaries were blurred by guilt and obligation, two emotions that often keep seniors from asking for help. But once she sought professional guidance, Myra learned that saying “no” doesn’t mean rejecting family; it means preserving dignity.

Ron adds that estate planning conversations should be approached like life planning, openly, early, and with compassion. Families who discuss caregiving, finances, and inheritance before a crisis are far more likely to stay united afterward.

The episode reminds listeners that the most loving thing you can do for your family is to make sure they never have to guess your wishes, or fight to carry them out.

The story of Myra and Peter is one that plays out quietly in homes across the country. It’s not about greed, it’s about silence, avoidance, and the fear of confrontation. But estate planning can transform that fear into freedom.

Marguerite and Ron encourage everyone to review their living arrangements, update legal documents, and talk openly with family about boundaries. Planning isn’t about pushing people away, it’s about ensuring love and respect can thrive without dependency or confusion.